Sadly your sense of humor is one of the first things that you lose on a diet. Let’s try to remedy that. Enjoy some humorous thoughts and do a little laughercising.
Funny Weight Loss Tips & Quotes
Laughing burns off calories so everyone needs a giggle…. some more than others.
Don’t Eat That!
Forget Liposuction – Try Lip Obstruction!
Eat your food while staring into a mirror…. totally naked!
Carry Large Helium Balloons
When eating donuts – only eat the center part.
Weigh yourself with only one foot on the scale.
Keep a pit bull in the kitchen
Use Parental Block for the Food Network on your TV – Eat PIN Number/Password.
Eat your food with one chopstick
LMAO is a great way to reduce weight in the hindquarters.
Don’t eat your evening meal before breakfast
Ladies – Drop 5 lbs. Instantly! Let go of your purse.
Instead of carrying your laptop around – start carrying your desktop PC.
Attach Full-Length Mirror to your Refrigerator Door.
Hang your bikini on the refrigerator…. definitely don’t do that if you are a guy.
Remove wheels from your grocery cart.
When weighing yourself on the scale – try to defy gravity.
Use Superglue As Lip Gloss
Only eat food that you can catch & kill with a toothpick
Don’t burn off fat with a candle…. a blow torch will work quicker.
Like the silent tree falling in the forest…. food actually has no calories if no one sees you eating it
Cut back on your food intake if you weigh more than your refrigerator.
50 Lb. Cellphones
Do 600 Tweets per hour. Move over 6 pack abs…. 6 pack fingers is the new rage (Note – Only Twitter users may get that one)
Unfollow some calories (another Twitter-related one that may go over your head)
If you can’t pronounce the ingredients…. you probably shouldn’t eat it.
Swap dinner dishes with your pet – Kibbles n’ Bits & Little Friskies make great appetite suppressants.
Eat that prime rib roast with a straw
Set a goal to lose as much weight as your stock portfolio has done in the last year.
Running to the refrigerator is not considered exercise.
Running to the refrigerator is not considered exercise…. unless it is a moving refrigerated truck.
You know you’re overweight when your computer tells you that your @ is too big.
If you work at home…. walking to work should not be considered as daily exercise.
Exercise or Exorcism – both are designed to beat the hell out of you!
Hopefully you are losing weight & dropping calories at this very moment. You can enjoy more quotes for your dieting soul at Funny Weight Loss Tips. Laughter should be on everyone’s menu…. it tastes delicious!
Source by Larry Wentz